BUILD TRUST WITH your boss
How to build Psychological Safety as an Employee
What if my boss doesn't trust me?
Last time we talked about how to build trust with those you lead, helping them become leaders themselves. Today we are going to finish our series on Psychological Safety by thinking about how to influence your boss. Most people tend to think “My boss doesn’t make me feel safe. He’s always micro-managing me or getting angry if we make mistakes. He doesn’t trust us.” Sure, those things might be true, but it doesn’t mean there is nothing we can do to build Psychological Safety on your team.
See your boss as a person
What most people fail to recognize is that their boss is a person too. Because we are intimidated by them, we tend to see only the role and not the person. Just like you, your boss is responding to many pressures and worries and his or her behavior towards you is not always intentional. Before we react to how our boss treated us, we can take a moment to step into his shoes. Seeing her as a real person with troubles can really help shift our perspective.
"At a minimum, you need to appreciate your boss's goals and pressures, his or her strengths and weaknesses."
Understand their Vision
Most people assume that they know what their boss wants. Instead of assuming, ask and double check. “So you want me to X, Y, Z by next week Friday, right?” Clarifying the details can really help. Also, try to understand their bigger purpose. Ask questions to help understand their motivations and needs so that you can help. Try to help meet those needs before you are asked.
Speak up with respect
When we see problems in the work place most people will either stay quiet or complain loudly. What if we tried something better? What if we came to our boss with it, but not complain. “So, I see this potential issue. You probably are aware of it already, but I was wondering what you think we should do about it? I thought we could maybe X, Y, Z, but I wanted to hear what your perspective is. “
Here’s a checklist from the Harvard Business Review article on "Managing Your Boss".
- Make sure you understand your boss and his or her context including:
- goals and objectives
- Pressures
- Strengths, weaknesses, blind spots
- Preferred work style
- Assess yourself and your needs, including:
- Strengths and weakness
- Personal style
- Tendency to under or over dependent on leaders
- Develop and maintain a relationship that
- Fits both your needs and styles
- Is characterized by mutual expectations
- Keeps your boss informed
- Is based on dependability and honestly
- Selectively use your boss’s time and resources
I hope that helps think a bit about how you can help understand and support your boss. When your boss knows they can trust you, things tend to be so much better!
Ask Your Question
Let's Start the dialogue
That’s it for our series on Psychological Safety. Next we’ll be talking about how to find your “WHY” to help you find deeper motivation for your work. Do you have a question about leadership or work life? Leave a comment below or ask a question here that we will answer in future blog posts!
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Jeff Staege is an American who lived in China for 23 years before moving to Istanbul, Turkey in 2022. He is an executive coach and trainer in Emotional Intelligence. He helped found Sofian International Consulting and is the co-author of the EQ Solutions curriculum.
Jeff is married to Rebecca Staege and has four high school age children. He loves learning languages, reading, teaching, running and rock climbing.
